DALLAS (105.3 THE FAN) – It’s official! For a second straight year, the 105.3 The Fan crew is invading the Super Bowl! So…. New Orleans! Here we come!
Last year, we had a roommate “draft” in which, I had the distinct honor of having Greggo from RAGE as my roommate. This year, we are having a “spin the wheel” for our roommate selections and it will happen today on “The Elf and Slater Show!”
But, I’ve branched out and have done my own scouting reports on each person who is going on the trip. I’ve provided the upsides, along with the downsides:
Starting with….Engineer Ted with the Long Hair. Upside: he always has the best hair conditioners and if I need anything with batteries or anything else electronically, he will be there in a heartbeat. Downside: I’ll be subject to watching hours of recorded documentaries on every Tour de France dating back to its inception in 1903 and Ted’s Lance Armstrong pillow pet is a bitch to keep clean…
Greggo – Upside: he is always down for helping me pull pranks and watching hours of the History channel while downing orange soda and Cheetos. Downside: I’ll feel guilty if I do ANY in room drinking or hide anything in our hotel fridge. And I just can’t smuggle alcohol in good conscience…
Slater and/or Sybil – Upside: they will always smell good, have make-up or clothes I can borrow if need be, and can help me in jumping up and down on the bed and pillow fighting. Sybil has weighed my breasts before as part of a scientific study so I feel very comfortable with her. Downside: we can also get into REAL trouble if it’s the three of us. I don’t want to get into REAL trouble–just borderline…
Shan — Upside: he is the pool balls to my stick. The guy isn’t afraid to tell you how he feels or to tell annoying people to simply F off. Downside: we are both the same color and have sketchy last names. You just simply cannot put a “Shariff” with a “Sadry” in one room without getting bugged by the government…
RJ — Upside: he’s fun to be around and is all about having a good time. Plus, he won’t mind watching hours of Teen Mom 2 and Catfish episodes. Downside: his colon. Trust me on this one. What comes out of there is NOT human…
Richie — Upside: he is guaranteed to always provide a good time, whether it’s calling up local hookers, strip club hopping, or helping me smuggle bottles of Jack Daniels in my bra into the hotel room. Downside: he hates animals and anything cute and it makes me think that he’s got sociopathic tendencies and I just can’t room with a potential serial killer…
Fish — Upside: he’ll have tons of awesome stories from decades of covering the Cowboys and the Mavericks. Downside: my ass did NOT agree to go to New Orleans to have to play “Reading Rainbow”…
Elf — Upside: guaranteed that he will be the cleanest roomie! The room will always be neat, smell good, and he and I can duet “Fiddler on the Roof” scores and the theme songs from every 1970s sitcom. Downside: we may get us kicked out for singing too much. If I get kicked out of a hotel, I want it to be for something WAY more scandalous than my vocal octaves range…
Tim — Upside: with my early morning hours, it’s guaranteed that he will be asleep early so that will keep me in check and I’ll be more responsible because of it. Downside: he IS my boss, so putting us in a hotel room together will only start rumors. It’s questionable enough that I already somehow have THIS job, I don’t need more fuel to add to the fire…
My final assessment after said scouting report?
I’m screwed regardless…
How did it break down? Click here to check out the results.
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